Over the last couple of weeks, we have looked at:
One of the things that most worries inexperienced negotiators is the question: ‘what if they say no?’ or even ‘what if they don’t like my offer?’
If these bother you, don’t worry. Of course they will say no – several times: it’s their job. And of course they won’t like your offer – unless it advantages them, rather than you; which would make it a foolish offer for you to make. instead, start to see resistance as a part of the process.
The Handling Resistance Pocketbook is a toolkit for anyone encountering resistance, and at its heart is a model to help you understand resistance, assess what is going on, and choose from the tools available.
The Onion Model
The Onion Model is a tool to uncover the layers of resistance.
With this model, you can see why resistance is so inevitable. The first two layers are about meaning: they may not understand your proposal – so find a new way to explain it, or they may doubt why you made it, so be clear about the basis for your proposal.
Next comes doubt about your ability to stand by your proposal: ‘it’s too good to be true’ responses fit in here. Provide evidence of your bona fides. Next comes the powerful rejection – probably because your proposal is not good enough.
But if it is good enough, credible and fully understood, they may resist for historic reasons: they may not like you but, more likely, they have some other reason to not want to do a deal with you. Maybe your organisation misled them in the past, maybe another organisation did and, in their mind, ‘you’re all the same.’
This last layer is rarely about reality – more often it is about perception. So you need to understand the basis of that perception and undermine it with counter evidence… always in a respectful way. Try using an adaptation of the ABCDE process, a tool form the heart of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT).
Other Pocketblogs about Handling Resistance
- Handling Sales Objections
- The Onion Model of Resistance
- How to Understand Resistance and Handle it Effectively
- Conflict: As simple as AEIOU
- How to Understand your Toddler
- Handling Resistance to Engagement