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Cognitive Behavioural Coaching (CBC)

Cognitive Behavioural Coaching

Cognitive Behavioural Coaching is not as well known as others among our Big Ideas. In fact, it’s more of a spin-off from a Big Idea, than one in its own right. But Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) would certainly qualify. It has had and is having a huge impact on people with serious problems.

Cognitive Behavioural CoachingBut CBT is not designed for the workplace. It’s a tool for mental health practitioners. If only there were something that could apply its principles to lower level stress and self-efficacy problems than its older sibling, CBT.

This is where Cognitive Behavioural Coaching comes in. Drawing from the ideas and tools of CBT, it is ideal for problems like:

  • procrastination
  • stress
  • lack of assertiveness or of confidence
  • perfectionism
  • hesitancy in decision-making
  • aggression

Continue reading Cognitive Behavioural Coaching (CBC)

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Resistance to Negotiation

Over the last couple of weeks, we have looked at:

One of the things that most worries inexperienced negotiators is the question: ‘what if they say no?’ or even ‘what if they don’t like my offer?’

If these bother you, don’t worry.  Of course they will say no – several times: it’s their job.  And of course they won’t like your offer – unless it advantages them, rather than you; which would make it a foolish offer for you to make.  instead, start to see resistance as a part of the process.

Understanding Resistance

The Handling Resistance Pocketbook is a toolkit for anyone encountering resistance, and at its heart is a model to help you understand resistance, assess what is going on, and choose from the tools available.

The Onion Model

The Onion Model is a tool to uncover the layers of resistance.

Onion Model of Negotiating Resistance

With this model, you can see why resistance is so inevitable.  The first two layers are about meaning: they may not understand your proposal – so find a new way to explain it, or they may doubt why you made it, so be clear about the basis for your proposal.

Next comes doubt about your ability to stand by your proposal: ‘it’s too good to be true’ responses fit in here.  Provide evidence of your bona fides. Next comes the powerful rejection – probably because your proposal is not good enough.

But if it is good enough, credible and fully understood, they may resist for historic reasons: they may not like you but, more likely, they have some other reason to not want to do a deal with you.  Maybe your organisation misled them in the past, maybe another organisation did and, in their mind, ‘you’re all the same.’

This last layer is rarely about reality – more often it is about perception.  So you need to understand the basis of that perception and undermine it with counter evidence… always in a respectful way.  Try using an adaptation of the ABCDE process, a tool form the heart of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT).

Other Pocketblogs about Handling Resistance

The Handling Resistance Pocketbook, by Mike Clayton

 

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Happiness – as simple as ABC?

AbnormalityA couple of years ago, I spotted something a bit special in an Oxfam bookshop; it was a kind of archaeological relic of a by-gone age.  The book was a basic psychology text called ‘Abnormality’.  Because I have no more than a passing interest in the subject and ever-diminishing shelf space, I elected to leave it behind.

However, this book marks the end of an era.

.

A New Field in Psychology

Abnormality was published in 1997.  The following year, its principal author, Martin Seligman, was President of the American Psychological Association.  In 1998, Seligman officially launched Positive Psychology as a distinct branch of psychology, and lifted it from the level of pop psychology to a topic of serious scientific research.

Abnormality marked Seligman’s last book on the ‘old’ psychology of the damage we accumulate or do to one-another.  All his subsequent books have been about aspects of optimal human functioning.

Why this timing?  Was it just because Seligman had the opportunity that year?  I don’t think so.  In his 2003 book, Authentic Happiness, he says:

‘it took Barbara Frederickson … to convince my head that positive emotion has a profound purpose far beyond the delightful way it makes us feel.’

In 1998, Barbara Frederickson published a ground-breaking paper: ‘What good are Positive Emotions?’  In it, she suggests that positive emotions broaden and build our personal resources and help us to cope with the trials of life.  She won psychology’s most lucrative award, The Templeton Prize, in its first year, 2000.

But what if I’m stuck with negative emotions?

Martin SeligmanSeligman himself is a leading thinker in Positive Psychology; most closely associated with two aspects: strengths, and ‘Learned Optimism’.

His 1990 book (now in its third edition); ‘Learned Optimism’ pre-dates Positive Psychology as a field of study with a name, but it is an essential read for anyone interested in the field.

It shows how we can move from helplessness to optimism by changing the way we think, and it presents a very powerful model, developed by Albert Ellis.

Albert Ellis and Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy

Albert Ellis founded Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) – yes British readers: I have used the US spelling.  This is a fore-runner of the better known CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) and Ellis is known as the Grandfather of CBT.  He died in 2007.

In Learned Optimism, Seligman uses his ABCDE model as a tool for changing the way we think about adversity and and challenge.  You will also find this model in The Cognitive Behavioural Coaching (CBC) Pocketbook.

A B C D E

A: Activating event
… or Adversity, as Seligman describes it, is the objective event that causes us concern

B: Beliefs
The beliefs we have (rational or not) about the event that trigger our attitudes, fears and subsequent behaviours

C: Consequences
Ultimately, what consequences do those beliefs have for us in terms of what we do and how that changes our options and opportunities.

D: Dispute
Change comes when we confront our beliefs with real-world evidence and start to dispute our interpretation and beliefs.

E: Energization
This is the word Seligman uses, which seems more powerful than ‘Exchange’ used in the CBC Pocketbook. Here the new evidence and understanding we have exchanged for the old energises us to make changes, think differently, do things differently, and change our world.

Our Cognitive Behavioural Coaching Pocketbook has a whole chapter on the ABCDE model and how to use it.

Is Happiness as Simple as ABC?

Of course not, but what Seligman shows us is how a simple process can radically change our perspective from pessimism to optimism.

Some Management Pocketbooks you might enjoy

The Cognitive Behavioural Coaching Pocketbook

The Energy and Well-being Pocketbook

The Positive Mental Attitude Pocketbook

The Stress Pocketbook

The Emotional Intelligence Pocketbook

The Empowerment Pocketbook

You might also like our earlier blog: Socrates’ Questions, Pavlov’s Dogs and Skinner’s Box.

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Socrates’ Questions, Pavlov’s Dogs and Skinner’s Box

Round Britain Quiz is the most British of Radio Programmes.  It features intellectuals sitting round and discussing crossword-style puzzles that require erudition, exceptionally wide knowledge (often far from ‘general’ knowledge) and an ability to spot subtle connections.  The real skill in playing the game is to sound almost pleased when you get it wrong, because you’re learning something new.  It’s sadly off the air at the moment, but I am sure it will be back.

While we are waiting …

Try your hand at this question:

‘How does a nice decision connect Socrates, Pavlov and Skinner,
and how can a Pocketbook help you get in on the act?’

Continue reading Socrates’ Questions, Pavlov’s Dogs and Skinner’s Box

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