The way you are perceived – how confident, assertive and credible you seem. In Patrick’s mind, this is ‘good’ assertion – respectful and appropriate, rather than domineering and aggressive.
Your ability to assume your counter-party’s perspective and see things from their point of view, understanding what they want and how they perceive the situation and your actions.
Patrick gives a wealth of tips about ‘behavioural ploys’ that negotiators can use, to increase your projection and empathy. I want to pick out just one:
Not: ‘oh boy, this negotiation has been going on for ages, now I’m flagging’.
Instead: ‘I’d like to flag up the next step’.
Patrick recommends using questions and statements that demonstrate where you are in the negotiation and what you think needs to follow in the process. Because negotiation is a process, and it needs to keep moving until it reaches a conclusion – of one sort or another.
What made me think, was this statement:
‘never flag a disagreement’
… which Patrick doesn’t explain.
Never Flag a Disagreement
This statement caught me by surprise. I didn’t necessarily agree with it. I had to think why it might be true. And then I realised: Patrick is right. So now, I can explain it.
Flag a disagreement and the process stops. When the process stops, the negotiation ends. If you disagree, then flag the next step you need to take to move back into agreement. Nice, Patrick, thank you.
Maybe, that should be Rule 5.