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Resistance to Negotiation

Over the last couple of weeks, we have looked at:

One of the things that most worries inexperienced negotiators is the question: ‘what if they say no?’ or even ‘what if they don’t like my offer?’

If these bother you, don’t worry.  Of course they will say no – several times: it’s their job.  And of course they won’t like your offer – unless it advantages them, rather than you; which would make it a foolish offer for you to make.  instead, start to see resistance as a part of the process.

Understanding Resistance

The Handling Resistance Pocketbook is a toolkit for anyone encountering resistance, and at its heart is a model to help you understand resistance, assess what is going on, and choose from the tools available.

The Onion Model

The Onion Model is a tool to uncover the layers of resistance.

Onion Model of Negotiating Resistance

With this model, you can see why resistance is so inevitable.  The first two layers are about meaning: they may not understand your proposal – so find a new way to explain it, or they may doubt why you made it, so be clear about the basis for your proposal.

Next comes doubt about your ability to stand by your proposal: ‘it’s too good to be true’ responses fit in here.  Provide evidence of your bona fides. Next comes the powerful rejection – probably because your proposal is not good enough.

But if it is good enough, credible and fully understood, they may resist for historic reasons: they may not like you but, more likely, they have some other reason to not want to do a deal with you.  Maybe your organisation misled them in the past, maybe another organisation did and, in their mind, ‘you’re all the same.’

This last layer is rarely about reality – more often it is about perception.  So you need to understand the basis of that perception and undermine it with counter evidence… always in a respectful way.  Try using an adaptation of the ABCDE process, a tool form the heart of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT).

Other Pocketblogs about Handling Resistance

The Handling Resistance Pocketbook, by Mike Clayton

 

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Handling Resistance to Engagement

Resistance to Engagement in the August 2011 Training Journal

The August 2011 edition of Training Journal focuses on the topic of engagement.  One of the most challenging aspects for managers is when they want to generate employee engagement, but encounter resistance.  Luckily, there is a Pocketbook dedicated to handling resistance.

Handling Resistance

The Handling Resistance Pocketbook

Mike Clayton, author of The Handling Resistance Pocketbook, has written an article ‘Resistance to Engagement’ that builds on the onion model described in the book, to discuss why people sometimes resist such an obviously ‘good thing’.

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The book contains three versions of the model, for contexts of resistance to ideas, resistance to change and sales objections. Mike has developed a new version for this article.

Training Journal is a subscription only magazine, and access to the full article archive on their website also requires a subscription.  It is an excellent journal and, if you are a trainer or you commission training, reading it will be a valuable part of your CPD.

However, the subscription model means that any people interested in my article won’t be able to access it, so Mike has put it onto his Handling Resistance blog, in two parts…

Resistance to Engagement

People want to be engaged. They want to be treated fairly, to be consulted about what is happening, and to feel valued and supported.  Yet employee engagement initiatives often meet with scepticism, resistance and even hostility.  Why is this?  Can we understand the source of the resistance and build on this understanding to create positive ways to handle it?

Read more…

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How to Understand Resistance and Handle it Effectively

Mike Clayton

Mike’s first law of change: “Resistance is inevitable”

There’s no getting around it, so all you can do is to embrace it, and engage with your resisters.  But how can you do so positively, and increase your chances of a successful transition?

That’s the reason I developed my Onion Model of Resistance, which I started working on back in the 1990s.  It helps us to understand the nature of the resistance we encounter and leads us towards effective strategies.

Five Layers of Resistance

There are five layers of resistance that we encounter and they are summarised in the image below. (click to enlarge)

The Onion Model of Resistance by Mike Clayton

What we find is that, as we uncover a layer of resistance, there is often another layer beneath it.  Each layer is psychologically deeper, it is emotionally hotter, and it is harder to deal with.

Harmonious Engagement with the Resistance

My Golden Rule for Handling Resistance is:

‘I will always respect my resisters’

This means I need to use a harmonious approach that does not clash with them nor seek to put them down.  Our instinctive approaches, to blame, bully, plead, fight, do deals or lie, do not work – or, if they do, are not sustainable.  In my talk – and in the book – I listed a dozen or so techniques, inspired by the principles of Aikido, a Japanese martial art, sometimes called the ‘way of peace’, or ’the way of harmony’.

Three things to remember

The talk ended with three things to remember:

  1. Resistance is part of the process.  It is inevitable.
    Don’t fear it: embrace it.
  2. There is always a reason for the resistance you get.
    It may not be rational, but you can understand it,
    and you can deal with it.
  3. Above all, always respect your resisters.

Management Pocketbooks you might enjoy

The Handling Resistance Pocketbook, by Mike Clayton

The Onion Model, how to handle resistance to ideas, to sales, and to change, along with a host of tips are all in the Handling Resistance Pocketbook.

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You may also like:

For more on the Onion Model…

…take a look at this earlier blog, on Handling Sales Objections.

The Golden Rule for Resistance: "I will always respect my resisters"

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Handling Sales Objections

In last week’s Pocketblog, we looked at one way to make a sale.  But often it isn’t the selling that defeats us: it’s the objections.

CIPD HRD Exhibition

Resistance gets us every time and this is the topic of the Management Pocketbooks Learning Arena Session at the CIPD HRD Exhibition on 6 April.

At that session, I will be speaking on:

‘How to Understand Resistance and Handle it Effectively’

I will speak at 10am, and then return to the Management Pocketbooks stand (Number 571) to meet readers and answer questions.  As well as being the editor and principal author of the Management Pocketblog,  I am also the author of the Handling Resistance Pocketbook.

At the stand, you can get all of the Pocketbooks at the special exhibition rate of £1 off, and if you buy five, you can get a sixth one free – that’s six pocketbooks for £34.95.

Resistance to Sales

I will be speaking about resistance to change at HRD, but to follow from last week’s blog, let’s take a look at how my ‘Onion Model of Resistance’ applies to objections to sales.

OnionModelSalesResistanceL4

The Onion Model

The Onion Model sets out the layers of resistance we encounter – whether to our ideas, to change, or to our sales proposals.  As an example, here is a video of me talking about the fourth layer of resistance to a sale; when the potential customer says something like:

‘I don’t like your proposal.’

In this short video, I am talking about this level of resistance, and illustrating it with an example.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YmEMdscBpR0]

So here’s the deal

Your job, when you encounter resistance, is to engage with it in a positive way.  Identify what level the resistance is at, then deal with it appropriately.  When you handle resistance effectively, it will often just melt away.

The Handling Resistance Pocketbook

The Handling Resistance Pocketbook, by Mike Clayton

The Handling Resistance Pocketbook covers:

  • How to understand resistance
  • The importance of a sound process
  • Ways to start persuading
  • The power of language and questioning
  • Resistance to change
  • Sales objections
  • Conflict
  • The psychology of resistance

My Handling Resistance blog is at HandlingResistance.com

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